There are many times in our lives when we need others for care and support. For the first several years of our lives, we depend on caregivers to get our needs met. As we grow old, we return to a similar state of dependence on others. Each person has their own unique set of talents and abilities. Even in the peak of your life, when you’re relatively young and healthy, you’ll need help with the challenges you run into. If you’re feeling like you’re not “pulling your weight” or you’re holding your loved ones back in some way, this can bring up some serious feelings of guilt. Maybe you’ve developed these feelings because of a situation you can’t change. Maybe they’re rooted in messages other people have told you about yourself. Either way, feeling like a burden isn’t good for your mental health. It’s important to figure out where these thoughts are coming from so you can take steps to change what you can or change your beliefs. In this article, we’ll discuss some reasons why you might feel like a burden and how you may be able to change these feelings with the support of a therapist.
Why do I feel like a burden?
Your mindset is formed by core beliefs about who you are and what roles you play in your life. “I’m a burden to my loved ones” is a negative belief that can be related to things that are true. Maybe you’re depending on someone else because you’re in school, or maybe you need assistance with daily activities because of an illness or a disability. These things aren’t problematic in themselves. The difficulty is the feelings that come along with this belief. Guilt is a big one, and there might be elements of hopelessness, sadness or even anger.
Finding the origin or the source of these feelings will tell you a lot about how you can change them. If you have low self-esteem or you don’t have much agency to make your own choices, it’s easy to get caught up in these feelings. Toxic relationships can also be a big factor, and you may be in a life situation that’s difficult in itself. Many times, it’s a combination of different things that create the most stubborn negative beliefs.
How can feeling like a burden impact a person’s life?
When you feel like you’re a burden on a regular basis, it can start to have other negative impacts on your life. You may have low moods or start to isolate yourself socially because of guilt or shame. Many people develop perfectionistic tendencies to create feelings of worth based on their achievements. Whether your loved ones actually feel like you’re a burden or not, your feelings can damage those relationships over time. You may start to have feelings of resentment if you can’t be open and honest. You may be less likely to ask for help if you don’t feel like you deserve it, which can increase your risk of suicide.
How can I stop feeling like such a burden?
How much you depend on others to get your needs met isn’t always something you can control. If you can’t change your situation, accepting it is the first step toward changing your mindset. This is much easier said than done — it might involve some important conversations with the people in your life, or you may need to work on your self-compassion. You may also need to find some new ways to cope.
A therapist can be a great partner in coming to terms with difficult life situations and reframing them. They might start by helping you check the facts and prepare for conversations with your loved ones to find out how they’re really feeling. Maybe some reassurance from your friends and family will help you feel less guilty. After that, you’ll need to find ways to manage your emotions as they come and go. You may need a self-compassion practice that you can do whenever you’re overcome with negative emotions. Maybe finding ways to help out or doing nice things for your loved ones will help. Or maybe a gratitude practice will help you gain perspective. Maybe you need a bit more human connection. A therapist can help with all of these things.
To recap, here are some things you can do to manage feelings of being a burden:
● Check the facts.
● Challenge negative core beliefs.
● Practice self-compassion.
● Focus on what you can control.
● Have a heart-to-heart with someone you trust.
● Tell your loved ones how much you appreciate them.
● Distance yourself from the thought of being a burden.
● Talk with a therapist.
How can online therapy help me feel like less of a burden to my friends and family?
Changing negative beliefs doesn’t happen overnight. Our modern lives are complex, and the pressure to be productive and provide for yourself can come from a lot of different sources. It’s not something you have to navigate by yourself.
At MoodRx, we pair individuals with licensed clinicians who are a good fit for your personality and your needs. MoodRx therapists are compassionate and insightful, and getting started is easy. We give you the tools you need to monitor your mental health, match with a therapist who’s a good fit and manage your symptoms. You can sign up for your free account and take a mental health assessment today. When you’re ready to start, you’ll have a quick consultation with one of our licensed clinicians. Based on your results and what you share during your consultation, they’ll recommend a few therapists for you to choose from.
It may seem like there’s not much you can do to stop feeling like a burden. A therapist can offer a different perspective and some emotional support. If you’re ready to give it a try, sign in and take an assessment. Let’s connect you with someone who can help.