MoodRx Clinical Staff - Oct 08, 2024
Helpful tips for parents missing their adult children after they've moved out
Every parent knows the day will eventually come when their child is ready to take their next steps toward independence and move away from home. That doesn’t mean you’ll ever feel ready for this transition or that it will be easy. It can be hard to know exactly how to prepare or what your feelings will be when the day actually comes. If you’re feeling lonely, sad or bored or you’re not sure what to do with all of your spare time, know that you’re not the only one. Other parents can be a great source of support, and some parents reach out to a therapist for the first time when their children move out.
Of course, you’ll always miss your child and want to have them around. The empty nest syndrome won’t always be so intense, though. There are some things you can do to take care of yourself and work through this tough time.
In this blog post, we’ll talk about ways parents can cope when they’re missing adult children who have moved out.
My son or daughter moved out and I miss them. What should I do?
During this transition, you should treat yourself with compassion and give yourself time to feel the feelings that are coming up. Plan activities that allow you to reflect while staying active. You might go for walks, spend more time with your pets or take up a creative project. Doing things that bring you joy and connecting with your friends or your spouse may help you reengage with your life. As time goes by, try to consider some of the positives of moving into this next stage for yourself and for your child. It’s OK to check in once in a while, but give your child some space to get settled.
Try the following tips to manage your feelings as you get used to life after your child has moved out:
1. Take some time to feel your feelings — Grief and loneliness are valid emotions that many parents feel after their adult children move out. You don’t have to push through them or try to “move on” right away. Giving yourself some space to feel sad or down will ultimately help you process those feelings more completely. Do whatever has helped you get through challenging times in the past, whether that’s talking with a friend, journaling, baking, moving your body or watching a sad movie.
2. Notice the positives — Your child is just at the beginning of their life as an independent adult. They’ll soon be having experiences that help them grow as a person. They’ll learn a lot about themself and develop new skills. What good things might be on the horizon for you?
3. Let your child take the lead on communication — When you’re used to seeing your child every day, it can be hard to resist calling and texting them. Each young person will have different needs, but hearing from you every so often and knowing they have your support is important for all adult children. If they tell you to give them some space, take the hint. It’s a good idea to ask them how often they’d like you to reach out.
4. Reconnect with your spouse or your friends — Now is a great time to rekindle your own social life. Your spouse or other parents you know may be able to provide moral support. Make some plans to get together for a heart-to-heart, a golf trip, some shopping, or whatever you like to do together.
5. Start a new project or pick up an old hobby — When was the last time you did something creative or learned a new skill? Having more time for your hobbies is one positive outcome you can take advantage of right away. Find something you can do just for the love of it, like scrapbooking or bowling. Don’t let it become a source of stress.
6. Start looking forward to your next phase — What do you want to do with the rest of your life? Are there places you want to travel to or causes you care about? Is it time to meet some new people? Keep an open mind and set some new goals or plan something you can look forward to.
7. Seek the support you need — You don’t have to get through this by yourself. It’s OK to lean on your friends or family for support. A therapist can also be a great ally. You need different kinds of support and different relationships in your life. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
There’s no way to know exactly how long it will take to get through the initial period of grief after your child moves out. It may depend on what your relationship is like, how much contact you have with them, how you cope with your feelings and how much support you have. Being gentle with yourself and nourishing the other social connections in your life will both be helpful strategies for your healing process.
This next phase of your life could be a great time to get more intentional about your mental health. The MoodRx Therapy Network makes it easy to monitor your mental health, match with the right therapist and manage your care. You might consider online therapy for yourself and family therapy to improve your relationships with the ones you love.
We’re here to listen and help you envision what your next stage will look like. Contact our team today for more information or to sign up for free.
