MoodRx Clinical Staff - Aug 08, 2024
Empty nest syndrome: What is it and how can parents cope with it after their kids leave for college?
Empty nest syndrome is the term for feelings parents may experience when their children move out of the family home. These feelings include:
● Sadness
● Loss
● Loneliness
Empty nest syndrome can be a common experience, but it often goes unrecognized. While it’s not an official mental health condition, that doesn’t make the experience any less valid. Symptoms of empty nest syndrome can vary from person to person, but may include:
● Feelings of sadness or grief
● Loneliness
● Loss of sense of purpose
● Anxiety or worry
● Changes in sleep patterns
● Changes in appetite
● Difficulty in focusing or concentrating
● Depression
These feelings are natural, and they’re temporary for many people. With time and support, parents can successfully navigate this monumental change.
Who is susceptible to empty nest syndrome?
While anyone can experience feelings of sadness or loss when their children leave home, certain factors can increase a parent’s likelihood of experiencing empty nest syndrome. Here’s how it can affect different people:
● Primary caregivers — Parents, especially mothers, who have been the primary caregiver of their children may find the transition more challenging.
● Stay-at-home parents — Parents who have dedicated their lives primarily to raising their children may struggle with a sense of loss of identity.
● Parents with strong attachment to their children — A close parent-child bond can make the separation more difficult.
● Parents experiencing other life changes — Parents experiencing other major changes like retirement, health issues or marital problems at the same time can find empty nest syndrome symptoms worsened.
● Parents who struggle with low self-esteem or struggle with adapting to change — Parents who struggle with these issues can find the transition to an empty nest particularly challenging.
These are just a few of the tendencies that can make becoming an empty nester more challenging, and individual experiences can vary. Many parents embrace the empty nest as a new chapter in their lives, while others need time to come to terms with this time.
Benefits of the empty nest
While having an empty nest can be a challenging transition, it also opens the door to a whole new world of possibilities and opportunities for personal growth and renewed focus. Some potential benefits of becoming an empty nester include:
● Free time increased — With fewer responsibilities tied to raising children, parents can find themselves with more free time.
● Marital relationship strengthened — Couples can have the time to reconnect and deepen their bond without the constant demands of parenting.
● Personal growth and development — Free time can be dedicated to hobbies, interests or education that may have been put on hold while raising children.
● Career advancement — With more time available, empty nest parents can focus more on their careers or explore new professional opportunities.
● Financial situation improved — Raising children can be expensive. With an empty nest, reduced expenses can lead to better financial stability.
● Deeper connections with adult children — As the parent-child relationship evolves, a new level of intimacy and understanding can develop.
● Volunteer work or community involvement — Many empty nesters can find fulfillment in giving back to their community.
Being an empty nester is a unique experience for everyone. The benefits of this new stage in life may vary depending on your individual circumstances.
Downsides of empty nest syndrome
While the empty nest can bring positive changes, it can also present challenges:
● Loneliness — With children gone, having an empty nest can make parents feel a sense of isolation and loneliness.
● Loss of purpose — After years of dedicating their purpose to raising their children, parents may feel a loss that’s difficult to adjust to.
● Marital strain — The absence of children can bring underlying marital problems to light.
● Financial concerns — An empty nest may cause financial changes that may be stressful. College tuition and dorm living can be new expenses.
● Health issues — Health problems can be triggered or exacerbated during this transition.
● Difficulty adjusting to new roles — Finding a new identity or role can be challenging for some empty nest parents.
● Anxiety and worry — Parents always worry about their children, but these worries can become more persistent with children out of the nest.
● Substance use — Some parents may turn to alcohol or drugs to help them cope with the feelings becoming an empty nester can bring.
● Mental health issues — Depression and anxiety can be made worse by the transition to an empty nest.
These challenges are typical, and many people can successfully navigate this transition. Seeking support from your friends and family or a mental health professional can be beneficial.
Stages of empty nest syndrome
While there’s no strict, linear timeline for experiencing empty nest syndrome, many people can experience similar phases:
● Denial and shock
● Anger and sadness
● Acceptance and adjustment
● Rejuvenation and growth
Coping with empty nest syndrome
The transition to an empty nest can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to have personal growth and new experiences. Here are some strategies that can help you cope as you adjust to the empty nest life:
● Embrace the change — Acknowledge that your feelings are valid, and allow yourself to grieve the loss of your child or children at home. It’s natural to feel a range of emotions on this journey.
● Reconnect with your partner — Spend quality time together and rediscover your relationship. Rekindle your romantic relationship by planning date nights, vacations or shared hobbies.
● Dabble in new hobbies — Explore interests you may have been putting on hold or discover new passions. Enroll in classes or workshops to help stimulate your mind.
● Spend time volunteering — Giving back to your community can give you a sense of purpose and connection.
● Maintain connections with your children — Maintain your bonds with your children through regular communications and visits.
● Seek support — Talk to friends who have been or are going through this transition, family members, or a therapist about your feelings.
● Take care of yourself — Stay on top of self-care by prioritizing your physical and mental health through regular exercise, relaxation and eating a healthy diet.
● Set new goals — Focus on your personal or professional aspirations.
● Join a support group — Joining a support group can help you connect with others who are experiencing similar experiences and feelings.
● Be patient with yourself — Give yourself grace. The adjustment to your new normal can take time.
● Accept the new reality — Understand that this is a natural phase of life. See this as a continuation and not an ending in your relationship with your child or children. An empty nest is a change in living arrangements, not your actual relationship.
● Redecorate your home — You can transform your living space to reflect your new lifestyle and personal preferences.
● Travel or explore — Travel to new and exciting destinations or revisit favorite locations.
● Practice relaxation — You can try mindfulness or meditation to help manage your stress and boost your mood.
● Keep a journal — Write about your thoughts and feelings. Journaling can help you process and understand your emotions.
● Adopt a pet — If you’re ready for the responsibility, adopting a new pet can bring companionship and joy during your new life chapter. Pets can provide you with comfort and a sense of purpose.
Seeking professional help for empty nest syndrome
It’s OK not to be OK. If you’re finding it hard to cope with the transition to an empty nest, seeking professional help can be a valuable step. A therapist can provide guidance and support as you navigate this transition. Here’s are some benefits for seeking therapy:
● Receiving expert guidance
● Experiencing personalized support
● Feeling less isolated
● Improving coping skills
● Potential for medication
You should seek help if:
● Feelings of sadness, loneliness or anxiety are persistent and interfering with your daily life.
● You’re struggling to cope with changes in your relationship or identity.
● You’re experiencing physical symptoms related to stress.
Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Taking steps to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being during this transition is important and brave.
Trust MoodRx to help you as you navigate through your empty nest journey
The transition from full-time parent to empty nest parent can be a significant life change, which can be accompanied by a range of emotions. This marks the beginning of a new chapter, and it’s essential to prioritize your mental well-being. At MoodRx, we offer a supportive platform to help you navigate these feelings. Our unique online platform allows you to get matched with a licensed therapist who will develop personalized care plans to meet your needs. It also allows you to manage your care and monitor your mental health. We can help you effectively cope with empty nest syndrome and embrace this new phase of your life with confidence and resilience.
Contact our team today for more information or to sign up for free.
